Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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