I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
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Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
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Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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