Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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