i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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