I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
