I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
