I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
