He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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