This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
