I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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