I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
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Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
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I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.