What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.