I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
