i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
