I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
