I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
