I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
