whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
