Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
