i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
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6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
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How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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