Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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