He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she woke up with a sticky ear
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
