I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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