I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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