I think I am morally bankrupt
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
