that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
