just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
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