you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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