We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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