If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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