How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
