So drunk, too bad you don't want this
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
