Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My brain says no but my pants say off.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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