Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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