I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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