i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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