dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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