so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
