Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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