Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
