If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
