Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize