): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
