WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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