I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
