I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
