wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
