like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
