Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
