i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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