3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize