My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
