She said her name was "party"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize