Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
