i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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