My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
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