no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
