okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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