I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
