thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
