More tranny stories later!
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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