Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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