the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
