tell your sister to shave her snatch
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize