Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Floor bacon is actually really good
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
