tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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