i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
